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| But Mommy..... |
I had to turn off the baby monitors (too loud) and even went and took a shower where I couldn't hear him. I cried in the shower; it just breaks my heart to know my little boy is so upset! But, I know that what is good for me is good for him. And I get so frustrated running back and forth when he doesn't want to go to sleep but is so very, very tired.
While weeping in the shower, I realized something. This is a form of discipline, as I'm teaching Samuel a new skill (in a sense). How our Father God's heart must break when he needs to discipline us and teach us something. We are often as clueless and stubborn as this little boy, and we make just as much noise. I can think of times when I have "thrown a fit" at God and at what he was taking me through, and I had no understanding at that time of what I was learning. {Ah, he is wailing again, so not really asleep} At times it felt like I was suffering for no good reason. I'm betting that if Samuel has enough cognition, he is thinking that I'm making him suffer for no good reason. Ah, the lessons one learns as a parent.
Parenting is such a personal journey. Several of my kids needed some teaching in this area, and done gently, with love and tenderness, when the child is full, burped, clean and dry, can be very effective. One daughter of mine, was IMPOSSIBLE to keep asleep. She'd fall dead asleep nursing, and had been up for hours (so was exhausted). I'd put her in her crib, fast asleep and within 10 minutes she'd be up again crying, tired and grumpy. At around 8 weeks, I couldn't stand to see her so tired and cranky (we were both miserable!) so I put her awake in her crib when she was showing clear signs of being tired. After 10 minutes of crying she was out like a light and stayed asleep for 2 hours. From there on in, she went to bed awake for naps and slept for anywhere from 2-4 hours depending on the time of day. She needed me to gently teach her how to fall asleep and she really began to thrive with all the sleep that her little body needed (and wasn't getting). If you think it's the right thing to do now, then listen to your instinct. You know what is best for your son!
ReplyDeleteHugs,